April

Word of the Month – Smeuse: A small hole or gap at the base of a hedge made by the frequent passage of animals like rabbits, birds, and mice.  

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I first heard the term smeuse on a podcast several years ago. It was brought to me by Robert Mcfarlane who writes about long forgotten words that describe the British landscape. He believes that words draw our attention to things. Fascinated, I began to watch for smeuses. Now that I knew they existed I saw them everywhere, along with the life that carved them. Words drew my attention and shaped the land around me.

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Attention giving, in its many forms, is a sacred practice. During a year of COVID, many of us have noticed and given our attention to new things. The birds out your window which you never saw while in the office 5 days a week. The cherry blossoms which became a desperately looked for sign of hope and a reason to get out of the house.  The staggering injustice present in our education system which we’ve ignored until now.

For myself, I gave new attention to the land where I grew up. Never have I had so much time to simply sit or work or marvel at trees. Gardening became a sacred practice. It was an outlet for pent-up frustration, a retreat from an overly crowded house, an act of hope when the future seemed uncertain. The attention I poured into this dirt is my greatest achievement of the pandemic, and I’m sorry to say goodbye.

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Digging up garden beds which I won’t get to plant, tending apple trees I won’t see bear fruit, loving land I have to once again leave, it tears my heart in half. After a year of so much loss and sorrow, I don’t want to give up one more thing.

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Instead, I remind myself that I’m not giving up anything. I get to carry with me the memory of sunny afternoons in my garden, the joy of apple picking, and the lessons learned from long hours of labor. All of that will continue. As will my garden. I found a new friend to take it over while I’m gone. May it bring her all the comfort it brought me.

For many of us, a year of COVID brought new awareness. And our vocabulary has expanded to reflect that. N-95, social distancing, lockdown, Phase 3, these are all words which describe our new world. There are also many terms people engaged with for the first time like, Black Lives Matter, martial law, housing insecurity, evacuation order, electoral college. As we practice awareness and give our attention, we learn the words to describe what we see.

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Robert Mcfarland has collected a dictionary of words which we’ve lost, like smeuse. He argues that without a name, phenomena or objects fall out of notice. For instance: our school system will still need a dramatic overhaul even after we’ve forgotten words like long-distance learning, zoom classroom, essential worker, batch testing. Our work now is to remember the things we saw and strive to change them.

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Despite its horror, COVID allowed me to dream. As I fell in love with my garden, I wanted to share the joy the land brings me. Now, my family of educators and outdoor enthusiasts is making plans. We have grand visions of turning our house into a school, our yard into an outdoor classroom. My sister and I want to teach in a way which combats the injustices I’ve learned to name like wildflowers. After giving my attention to the land, I will never take it back. Even after I’ve forgotten what 6 feet of separation looks like, I’ll still be searching for smeuses in the hedge. I’ve learned to see a world that is bigger than I ever could have imagined. That is the gift the land has given me.