On Cuban Economics

Of course I knew that transitioning to a foreign economy was going to be hard, but nobody warned me just how complicated it was going to actually be!

There are so many things to adjust to.

Like government run restaurants. Restaurants where the servers and chefs and cashiers will get paid the same amount no mater how quickly they seat patrons or how well they treat them.

There is, consequently, absolutely no rush.

In fact, I think there may even be a benefits system for how long you can leave the imperialist Yankees sitting at their table with empty water glasses, finished plates and no check. Double points for however many times to can pass the table without making eye contact.

Needless to say, I tend to frequent the smaller restaurants and food carts which wander the streets. But the price scale is unfathomable.

I can go to a small but nicer cafeteria and get a sandwich and a glass of juice for 19 pesos but I once bought a half-foot brick of basically dehydrated peanut butter and jelly from a food cart for 24 pesos. That particular ratio just seems backwards to me.

Speaking of Cuban currency: that’s complicated too.

Cuba has its own national currency referred to as monera nacional or just pesos, but then it has a separate track of tourist money called pesos convertibles or CUC which is tied directly to the dollar and is worth 24 monera nacional.

They are often used interchangeably, you just know how to use them.

The nicer “tourist” places charge in CUC and the cheaper “Cuban” places charge in monera nacional but midline restaurants will charge in either and the government run activities charge monera nacional if you are a resident and CUC if you are a foreigner.

Have I lost you yet? No? Good. Because I’m about it.

I was walking across campus one day when I was approached by a tall, middle aged man in business casual attire. He addressed me and opened with “Hello, I’m the economics professor for your group.”

To my knowledge my group has no economics professor, but I rolled with it. We then embarked on a saga of epic proportions.

First there was a profesora.

Then she was his wife.

Then she was pregnant.

Then she was getting a C-section.

Then he pulled an inhaler out of his breast pocket.

Still not sure how that fit in with the professor/wife/C-section thing.

“As you can see, my inhaler is empty,” he said. Since he was addressing my in Spanish he carefully took the inhaler apart to prove his point and pointed out the technical medical words on the tank so that I would know that he knew what he was talking about.

“I need 5 CUC to go to the Hotel Libre and buy a new inhaler, you know the Hotel Libre?”

I confirmed that I did indeed know of the giant blue government hotel just a few blocks down – haven of WIFI and all things overpriced. I also knew of the ancient tactics of swindling.

“I only have monera nacional,” I lied. Seeing as how 1 CUC equals 24 monera nacional I would need to have 120 pesos to make up the difference which was a completely unreasonably expectation.

He was undeterred.

“Ok then, 25 monera nacional,” he said.

In case you weren’t doing the math at home folks that equals 1.04 CUC not 5. I was more than a little confused.

We then revisited the professor/wife/C-section story, in case I had forgot. His pleas for 25 monera nacional and 5 CUC were repeated frequently and interchangeably as if he was even less familiar with the two currency system than I was.

As it was becoming obvious that I wasn’t going to be able to shake him I handed him 10 pesos.

He handed me a newspaper. And we continued negotiations.

“20 CUC,” he said completely out of the blue. I raised my eyebrows. I wasn’t sure why he thought that suddenly quadrupling the price would help his case but then he continued, “Its 20 CUC, but I have 14, so I just need 5 more.”

Ah, the time honored “I’m a hard working person in hard times and just need a little help” technique. I wasn’t going to point out to the so called “economics professor” that 14 plus 5 equaled 19 CUC not 20.

I stuck firm with my 10 monera nacional bid. If he worked his way around campus and swindled 12 more girls out of 10 pesos each then he would have enough for this professor/wife/C-section woman.

Seeing that I was quite content to leave things at 10 pesos and a newspaper he abruptly gave up and ended things with the traditional kiss on the check. The passion of his kiss was enough to make me almost believe that there really was a woman and I had just saved her life with about 40 cents in CUC.

This was a case of handling the Cuban economy well. Other students have not been so lucky.

But usually the Cuban economy works out in our favor. I can catch a cab for less than 50 cents and the students have figured out all the best places where all six of us can go out for dinner for 15 dollars total. I also discovered a plant stall with small cacti for 15 pesos each and I may slowly bankrupt myself on them.

I’ll end our currency discussion with a quiz:

I once paid for two lemonades at 2 pesos each with a 5 peso bill. I received as change a Ché head coin of indeterminable value. I then traded the Ché coin for a newspaper and two José Martís (1 peso each). So, how much was the Ché coin worth?

If you can find the answer to that question please let me know because the Ché coins still pop up occasionally and I have no idea what to do with them.